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Am I Still Attractive?
Nov. 17th, 2003 11:01 amThis might sound insane but I have been feeling sexually invisible lately. I actually had to masturbate three days in a row this last week. I HAD to...like I had no outlet for sex otherwise. It kinda scares me. I'm no beauty queen but I'm definitely no wallflower. I can usually find anything I need when I need it.
I've been listening to the music of my high school years and remembering a lot of things that make me smile. Jewels, I know you will probably never see this but I miss you. You were the closest friend I had for years and you kept me sane. Thank you so much for being nice to that bumbling awkward chick I was in high school who was still amazed that guys thought I was pretty sometimes. You kept me from losing hope that someday I could fit in somewhere and that I could have real friends. I listened to Black Balloon for you and Brown-Eyed Girl too.
Bastian....wow, you were a whole can of worms for me to deal with today. I don't remember what was so awesome about you. I don't love you anymore and that's a good thing. I was entirely too fascinated with you for too long and I was always a better friend to you than you were to me. And I miss you....even though I remember how much you would hurt me.
I wish that I could take back some things I did. I wish I could rewrite the scripts for some of my moments. But without them I wouldn't be who I am...and I think I like who I am.
I've been listening to the music of my high school years and remembering a lot of things that make me smile. Jewels, I know you will probably never see this but I miss you. You were the closest friend I had for years and you kept me sane. Thank you so much for being nice to that bumbling awkward chick I was in high school who was still amazed that guys thought I was pretty sometimes. You kept me from losing hope that someday I could fit in somewhere and that I could have real friends. I listened to Black Balloon for you and Brown-Eyed Girl too.
Bastian....wow, you were a whole can of worms for me to deal with today. I don't remember what was so awesome about you. I don't love you anymore and that's a good thing. I was entirely too fascinated with you for too long and I was always a better friend to you than you were to me. And I miss you....even though I remember how much you would hurt me.
I wish that I could take back some things I did. I wish I could rewrite the scripts for some of my moments. But without them I wouldn't be who I am...and I think I like who I am.
