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I'm leaving today and heading to Texas on Greyhound. I've never ridden the bus before so it ought to be an interesting experience to say the least. And it's an overnight trip. I'm taking books to read and stuff but I'm still a little nervous.

Ames and I had a big break down last night. We have a semi-relationship, but it isn't like me and Obnan. Aes is engaged to someone else and I have Obnan. But we are drawn to each other and we're there for the lonely times. I love her, but it's kind of a different kind of love. She makes me feel secure in myself and she thinks that I am beautiful. I think she is too...but I think I have a harder time thinking of myself as beautiful than she does. I try not to get too close to her because I have feelings for Obnan and I don't want him to get hurt and I don't really do well in relationships where there are more than two people and so it's hard to deal with the other people in her life.

But I miss my Mom a lot right now and so I'm really glad I get to go spend some time with her. I love her sooo much and it's really hard living so far away. I wish I could just go home whenever I want to. It's sooo expensive to go home. And everyone in my dorm gets to see their parents except for the international students.*sigh*


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April 2015

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