"You are too masculine..."
Mar. 12th, 2004 12:01 amAnd so into the midst of my gender identity crisis comes a new addition. One of my g/f's is currently struggle to deal with some sexual issues and so I have been giving her lots of space, as she requested, and trying my damndest not to get jealous when she is involved with all the other people I date except me. *sighs* All right so that sounded a bit harsher than the reality, but the truth of the matter is that she will make out with my other g/f but won't let me touch her. My touch makes her freeze. Apparently I'm too masculine and so I make all of her alarm bells go off (tears still roll down my cheeks thinking about this). But she is now planning to be involved with a MAN that I date. True he and I are nothing serious and refuse to even think about going there again, but that's not the point. Is it possible that I am more masculine than the men I date? *sighs* That scares me. I'm just so goddamn angry. She knows that I'm having issues with my gender identity right now and that I feel more neutral than anything else and she knows that I'm trying to deal with my unbalanced masculinity and feminity. It may be the truth that I'm too masculine for her...but I don't know how to deal with that. I don't think it'll ever change and I'm honestly not sure I want it to. So maybe it's just time for me to move on...6 months isn't too bad..*sighs* I just don't want to hurt her