Lie and tell me it gets easier...

[eiblyn]

I'm so tired of feeling lonely. I sit here in my room by myself, listening to the radio and trying to study horrible German words that I won't remember tomorrow anyway. I need company. I need something to distract me and remind me that the whole reason I exist is not that moment where I hear those words...*sighs* I need a life and a sense of purpose in my world. Right now I'm working towards graduation, losing more weight, and fighting the amendment that's coming up for voting about the KY state constitution. But I feel so emotionally drained and spiritually empty. Although next week the pagan group is going to start. Not to mention that tomorrow I'm starting a new workout thing with the girls. I signed up to have a German pen pal so maybe I'll be able to distract myself some that way. It's amusing because it seems that I'm struggling so much to fill my life with things so that I don't feel so lonely. But I'm not really taking the time to invest in serious friendships and relationships...it's mostly just a struggle to fill the time which I'm spending almost all of alone. I've barely managed to find people to eat lunch with. No wonder I'm lonely when I'm not spending time with other people and just kinda expecting myself to magically have some sort of depth to my life. I need to take some more responsibility.