Ghost of Lovers Past

[eiblyn]

I sit at my computer screen and think of all the people I have loved throughout my life. I know my life has not been long yet but I was never quite as young as the numbers seem to suggest. Valentine's Day is Saturday and I swear that the ghost of lovers past has paid me countless visits this week. Between the men I loved and lost, later to learn it was better, and the women who loved me but never understood me...I believe that I have had all of the reminiscence I can stand. Each one of them once held a piece of me that no other person could touch and I think it entirely possible that some of them still have it. I can look at all of my past lovers and see the person I evolved into. I know now that I could never stay with any of those lovers longer than I did because the person I was in the process of becoming would not have been happy with them...not to mention they were all monogamous and most of them could not deal with my bisexuality. So in the end I know I'm happier the way I am now...but there are times when a moment hits me and I remember some of them with that touch of sadness...and that's when I let myself wonder what could have been...