Romanticism

[eiblyn]

I admit that I am not always the most practical of people. Although I'm sure this is of no shock to anyone I have a talent for deluding myself. Mostly this has to do with the long string of men who have made their way into my heart and bed, not always in that order and not always to both. But I do believe that I enjoy being this way. I came to this realization the other night at such a late hour that I will not discuss why I was up so late when I clearly should have been studying for some such nonsense as it is finals week in my universe. But I realized that I have a permanent pair of glasses that shade my universe. Nothing is ever quite so bad when I look at it as it is when others look. Love is my worst topic. *smiles* I have this tendency to not see the negative sides of people when I have decided that my heart should be theirs. This is horrible and has brought me no small amount of suffering. But I realized that I truly don't care. In the end, I would have made all the same decisions because in the end I managed to become someone I like, even if I do feel the need to fool myself. And so I have to wonder now if some of the intense emotional feelings I have at the moment are just the whims of a hormone crazed young woman or if there really is something different about this time...or at least I thought I had to ask myself that until I actually thought about it and discussed it with the person in question. Somehow I was made to feel better by the simple fact that everything I was going through he was feeling the same way...and he really does not seem to be the kind or person who fools himself. So while I am a romantic, I have fallen in love with a realist...and I like that. I like that he tells me that it's nice to be silly but sometimes we have to be serious...and go to bed when it is 3am. *grins* The best part is that he apologizes for it when I think its wonderful.

Comments

[eiblyn.livejournal.com]

*smiles* You are, of course, assuming correctly. And I appreciate that you would take the time to point these things out to me and inform me that his faults are not as bad as I might hear. Rest assured that I am one to always weigh others opinions with the proper amount of salt and to wade in personally to form my own view. And I was trying, horribly I realized after re-reading my post, to determine if the delusions I normally form for myself were currently in place and being satisfied by the fact that they weren't. I by no means believe him to be perfect...but I have no desire to love someone who is. *smiles*