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So as you all know and have probably noticed numerous times before...I am horrible at communicating. I'm horrible at letting people know when I'm upset by something...I'm horrible at letting myself feel at all. SO I'm trying to deal with this and it certainly isn't easy. I don't understand why I'm so defensive on some issues with some people. It just doesn't make sense. I know that the people who say things to me are the ones that actually care about me but that doesn't make me feel any better about what they say. I know that I am a slacker. I know that my life is full of me not fulfilling my "full potential." I know that I don't get up every morning and do what every one else wants me to. A lot of times I feel like I'm disappointing people or letting them down just because I don't show up to something...and I don't want to feel like a disapointment...I don't know anyone that does.
