Rant...Read at your own risk

[eiblyn]

I had a realization today that is rather elementary in nature and that I usually have in every place that I live. If I don't want to know what people think of my life, I have to not tell them about my life. I keep thinking, naively I suppose, that every time I move people will be different and willing to look at things how I see them and see the validity to it. But, that doesn't happen. This is perhaps the best time in my life to learn to be a private person. That's never really been me before and it has led to me to a lot of conflicts that I have had no interest in having before. I don't like having my life judged, especially by those who have never been in the situations I've been in (and since no one has ever been me, no one has been where I am/have been/will be). I am much more interested in shoulders and caring ears than I will ever be in the judgements. Perhaps I should stop asking people what they think. But I've learned that just because I don't ask what people think does not mean they won't tell me. I'm no better than anyone else...I'm not above the Passive/Aggressive bullshit, but I would like to think that if I say I don't want to hear it anymore that people will respect that I don't FUCKING want to hear it anymore. Keep your judgements of me to yourself or don't talk to me. It's really that simple. Not even my family gets to judge me...much less people who have known me for less than a quarter of my lifetime.

Comments

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

Alternatively, you can do what I do, and not care overmuch what people think of your life.

A person's opinion is a gift they offer you. You may choose to accept it, or to decline it. It does not create for you an obligation or burdan, unless you choose to take it on.

*hugs*

[eiblyn.livejournal.com]

Let's try that again because that didn't communicate what I wanted it to the first time. In general, I don't care overmuch. I just hate having people thrust their moral judgements in my face. My morals are not the same as anyone else's because morals are all subjective. In some ways, I just want to rant about this...but I do intend to form a plan of action. And viewing someone's opinion as a gift is a much better prospect than how I had been dealing with it. I should work on myself and the feelings of obligation I seem to have after hearing someone's opinions on myself. You're definitely right that I'm creating that obligation myself.

*hugs back*

[blueathena.livejournal.com]

You know you always have my shoulder or caring ear for support. I don't totally understand certain things, but realtionships are nonetheless relationships, and from whatever experience I have had in my own past relationships I do not mind passing on those tiny bits of wisedom. People can do as they please with those bits of advice. I don't mind giving it if someone asks for it, and generally, I try to remember to not offer any if someone has voiced they don't want it. Though, I know this isn't what you're talking about.

As for thrusting moral judgement, I am pretty sure I do not do this. Its a shame if any friends are doing that. Maybe try to think of it like the other person stated, as a gift. Sometimes someone gives a gift and you're like "O-KAY, this is crap but I will just regift this some other time." hehe. Its a lot harder to just not care when someone says judgemental things... It lights my fire and I want to rant at them.

[eiblyn.livejournal.com]

*giggles at the concept of re-gifting moral judgements*

It often makes me want to rant at them too. Which is what my LJ is for. It would be nice if other people would remember that the person they are thrusting judgement at are living, breathing people with feelings.

[mizkitty318.livejournal.com]

I hugs you lady. You know I'm here, and I can be both an ear and a shoulder... and if that's not enough I like fire and I have a shovel ;[ ... do I mean vampire face? anyway. I *heart* you no matter what moral judgements you are forced to regift.

[eiblyn.livejournal.com]

Thanks lady. I think you're definitely keeping me sane now. I wish life weren't so crazy. It gets better soonish.