Growing Up

[eiblyn]

I know now that I am entirely naive. For some reason I failed to realize that I will not always have something in common with my family. That's not really essential to us loving each other because that goes without question...but as far as being able to carry on an intelligent conversation we are all at a loss as to what to talk about. I can't sit here and discuss ideas with my family like I can with my friends. I can't talk about who I date. I can't talk about my religion. It's like I'm stuck here having no option except to have smalltalk with these people who were the centers of my world for a long time. I was once so close to these people and now I feel like I don't know them at all. It's very strange because I feel like family has a different definition because it is not so much who you are related to. My family is now the people I choose to keep around me all the time. My family are the ones I turn to in order to make my world right. I realized that I grew up today. It was a sad moment for me and had quite a bit of bittersweetness to it. I suppose we get used to having to put on masks and fulfill roles for those we are related to but that does not truly make it any more correct to my way of thinking. I feel as if I try to live my life in such a way that I am not ashamed of who I am to anyone in my life. I understand now that I will continue to live my life and I will continue to be myself, but I will slowly begin to weed my family out of my life. That saddens me a lot.