Speed

[eiblyn]

I've noticed that I have relationships extremely quickly. I move around a lot and I think that has had a lot to do with it. It sometimes scares me how quickly I can form a bond with someone. I'm not very good with emotions so the idea that I would willingly subject myself to the strain of trying to bond with someone and put my emotions at risk is a little scary. But by the same token, I do not like it when everyone points out to me how quickly I get attached to people and tries to make it seems as if every time I get connected it is a pointless waste of time because I will simply lose interest soon enough anyway. Maybe I'd like to pretend that every person I'm involved with could possibly be someone I could spend the rest of my life with. I know deep down inside whether or not I am being realistic and I have my moments where I sit and make myself be realistic. Just because I don't invite everyone else to these sessions does not mean that they don't exist. But I can't really blame those I talk to about things from not believing me every time I insist a relationship is different because, frankly, I have insisted that every relationship is different. Sometimes I even have trouble convincing myself. But I wonder if the relationships I have would mean as much if I didn't believe they were each different. I wouldn't get involved if I knew that every relationship I have will be the same as every other relationship I've ever had. There would be no point. So apparently there is a method to the madness.