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Night Time Observations
Jan. 18th, 2005 12:35 amIt appears that I'm gaining weight back. This is mostly because I've been giving in to the junk food monster because I've been depressed. I really hate when I do that. I looked at the South Beach Diet for about 2 minutes today and then I decided it was dumb and not something I want to do to myself. In reality, I just need to learn to eat healthier in more moderation. Beyond that, I should cut down the sugar in my tea *grins*. I also have really been missing going to the gym. I never thought I'd say that, but it's true. I think I'll probably see about working out when I get back to school. I've missed swimming. I also think I want to get into walking again. My bike is back in Berea now so that's an option.
Also, what's up with people becoming completely fascinated with who they think I am and ignoring who I am in reality? There are a few men in my life who do this and it frustrates me to no end. No, I am not your ideal partner. Your ideal partner is that woman you crafted in your head who does not exist. I'm not interested in dating you to try and prove it. I've noticed that I still don't have the tact necessary to be able to communicate my lack of desire to sleep with someone. I think a large part of that is due to the fact that I'm trying desperately to make sure it gets across that I'm not interested and still trying to save feelings. *sighs* They just don't seem compatible most of the time.
So apparently I can only date a local man or local women but not both. What the hell is up with that? *sighs* I am grateful for what I have, but sometimes I miss things. Balance to the extreme I suppose. And what is up with people in Berea thinking that poly means you can just do whatever you want and you don't have to talk to your partner? Meaning they think it's ok to go on dates with other people without checking with your partner first...hello! Communication, communication, communication. It's the whole basis of the system and without it, the world falls apart. So, yes, asking/discussing/telling/talking is good first. You wouldn't go out with another woman without talking to your monogamous partner first (unless you are cheating which has no relevance to this rant) and you shouldn't do that to your poly partner either. (This is not directed at Liam...rather at people who will probably never read this in the first place)
I've been having moments lately where my whole world just sorta spins and I feel myself disconnect. In fact, I feel like that now. I can barely make my eyes focus but it isn't that I'm tired. I also have these moments where I just get "stuck" and I can't talk or do anything until it passes. It drives my mom crazy which is ironic because it only happens around her and my dad. I have no idea what this is...maybe I'm just completely off balance. I miss yoga.
Also, what's up with people becoming completely fascinated with who they think I am and ignoring who I am in reality? There are a few men in my life who do this and it frustrates me to no end. No, I am not your ideal partner. Your ideal partner is that woman you crafted in your head who does not exist. I'm not interested in dating you to try and prove it. I've noticed that I still don't have the tact necessary to be able to communicate my lack of desire to sleep with someone. I think a large part of that is due to the fact that I'm trying desperately to make sure it gets across that I'm not interested and still trying to save feelings. *sighs* They just don't seem compatible most of the time.
So apparently I can only date a local man or local women but not both. What the hell is up with that? *sighs* I am grateful for what I have, but sometimes I miss things. Balance to the extreme I suppose. And what is up with people in Berea thinking that poly means you can just do whatever you want and you don't have to talk to your partner? Meaning they think it's ok to go on dates with other people without checking with your partner first...hello! Communication, communication, communication. It's the whole basis of the system and without it, the world falls apart. So, yes, asking/discussing/telling/talking is good first. You wouldn't go out with another woman without talking to your monogamous partner first (unless you are cheating which has no relevance to this rant) and you shouldn't do that to your poly partner either. (This is not directed at Liam...rather at people who will probably never read this in the first place)
I've been having moments lately where my whole world just sorta spins and I feel myself disconnect. In fact, I feel like that now. I can barely make my eyes focus but it isn't that I'm tired. I also have these moments where I just get "stuck" and I can't talk or do anything until it passes. It drives my mom crazy which is ironic because it only happens around her and my dad. I have no idea what this is...maybe I'm just completely off balance. I miss yoga.
