I'm looking at this month of January and wondering what I'm going to learn about myself from it. I really think that this will be the longest period of time since high school that I haven't had a steady, consistent group of people to hang out with. I'm doing a lot of hanging out with myself and I forgot what that felt like. I should spend part of this time reading. But I don't...*smiles* mostly because I seem to be caught up in non-fiction throes. I'm keeping a much neater room than normal. I'm also drinking more tea than normal. I'm reading lots of net stuff and researching things I've meant to research for some time and haven't gotten around to before.
Also, I've kinda been looking at where I want to go and getting my ducks together. Think I might get two Masters degrees. Haven't thought that out completely yet. Think I want to move to Seattle. That probably won't happen. I'm beginning to look at my life in a different kind of way. Up until this last year I've basically been living my life on my own for me. Now there's J to think about...and that really changes things. Can't move where I may have wanted. Can't do a lot of things I may have wanted. But, can also do things I had never dreamed about before. Been weighing the good with the bad...I've seemed more objective lately than normal. I've realized that no, my life is not going to go the direction I had planned before I met him. But that's ok. I want him to be the part of my life he is now for a long time. That means being willing to sacrifice some stuff...and being willing to accept different limitations. For now, I love him and that's enough. It makes all the things about him that drive me crazy...well...things that drive me crazy, but not things that make me leave.
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