*antsy dance*

And so I realized at some point between yesterday and now the reason why I feel a need to plan out my life in such intimate detail. This is the third year I've been living in Berea. So something in there is insisting that it's time to move and so I need to get organize and make sure the things (or people) I want to take with me are there. I think a lot of my insecurity in my life is tied to the belief that everyone in life leaves and everything in life changes. There has not been a single person in my life that I've loved who's managed to stick around. The relationship with my parents isn't really even a good counter for that...I could explain all of that but I don't really have space. So I'm trying to create my own sense of security and desperately failing at the moment. I really don't know how to create this and so it's just that much more of a struggle for me.