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I'm tired and have been for a bit now. But kinda heavy-hearted/heavy-minded. I learned a new crochet stitch today and it's beautiful. Hopefully I'll have enough conviction to make a scarf. It looks really wonderful right now and I haven't dropped a single stitch!! *squee*
I think I'm getting tired of RP right now. I just seem entirely too cranky for it. Part of it is stress and part of it is just plain old losing interest. I go through cycles like that.
The book I'm reading currently seems to be effecting me where it hurts...in my relationships. I'm seeing so much of myself and some of the things I struggle with in this book that it isn't even funny. I wish I could better express my emotions to people. In particular, I suck at expressing anger. It's something I don't think I learned to do healthily. I don't release it unhealthily, I just don't ever tell people when they make me angry. I have a tendency to talk it out with a sounding board and then not be upset anymore, but that doesn't help the original relationship. Chances are, the person who made me angry honestly has no idea they've done it, much less that I would prefer it change. It's hard to just say, "Wow...I'm completely angry right now. I'm angry because I perceive x, y and z." I think I'm afraid to do that. I'm not sure what happens after that. I'm not sure if the person says "Well, I was trying to communicate a, b and c...I'm not sure where x, y and z came from but they weren't my intention." I suppose I should experiment a time or two and see how it goes.
I think I'm getting tired of RP right now. I just seem entirely too cranky for it. Part of it is stress and part of it is just plain old losing interest. I go through cycles like that.
The book I'm reading currently seems to be effecting me where it hurts...in my relationships. I'm seeing so much of myself and some of the things I struggle with in this book that it isn't even funny. I wish I could better express my emotions to people. In particular, I suck at expressing anger. It's something I don't think I learned to do healthily. I don't release it unhealthily, I just don't ever tell people when they make me angry. I have a tendency to talk it out with a sounding board and then not be upset anymore, but that doesn't help the original relationship. Chances are, the person who made me angry honestly has no idea they've done it, much less that I would prefer it change. It's hard to just say, "Wow...I'm completely angry right now. I'm angry because I perceive x, y and z." I think I'm afraid to do that. I'm not sure what happens after that. I'm not sure if the person says "Well, I was trying to communicate a, b and c...I'm not sure where x, y and z came from but they weren't my intention." I suppose I should experiment a time or two and see how it goes.
