Virginity...

[eiblyn]

Quandry for the LJ World:

Virginity...
How sacred is virginity? In giving it to someone do you become irrevocably tied to the person involved? Is there ever a "right" person to give your virginity to? Does the person you give your virginity to have a responsibility to ensure they are the "right" person? How much responsibility does the person receiving the virginity have to make sure the person is "ready" if they say they are?

Comments

[blueathena.livejournal.com]

I have no answer for this myself, as I screwed up making the loss of mine anything near "romantic". Good thing is that the guy is still a very good friend of mine. :)

[coderlemming.livejournal.com]

I kind of realized after awhile of everyone making a big deal about virginity that it really wasn't. In fact, with two virgins, the act can be downright embarassing and silly. A great way to make that worse is to hold it up on a pedestal, I realized. I like to think about it that the first time doing a certain act with anyone is fun and exciting and to be cherished. It's like losing your virginity over and over, or something. A first kiss with a person is like a whole new first kiss because kissing is always different for each new couple. Kind of takes the pressure off of virginity-losing and first-timing without actually removing the fun and mystique ;) Just my take though.

Sex is good.

[cathijosephine.livejournal.com]

Sweetheart,
Virginity is not a gift, it is a state of mind. Virginity is healthy to a point (probably somewhere between 16 and 22), and for some people comfortable after that. Somewhere along the way, virginity changes from being comfortable to being scared, then lonely and eventually isolating. Just imagine the plight of a fifty year old virgin.
The "right" person to start sexual exploration with is any person the virgin trusts and lusts after. That person can ensure that (s)he is the right person by honoring that trust and allowing the virgin to move at a pace (s)he is comfortable with and respecting the emotions that are always involved with sex but the first-timer might not necessarily be expecting. As for "ready," the standards on that do not change at any age or level of sexual experience. As long as the sex is safe, sane, and consensual the individuals involved are ready. Anything else will lead to serious regrets.
As for "how sacred is virginity," I say it is not. Sex is good. Sex is natural and healthy. Anyone who can't handle that is likely to be miserable regardless of when they started or with whom.

[whitefang.livejournal.com]

It's all relative. You can only give the answer yourself.

[(Anonymous)]

This guy makes the most sense... and I'm gonna pretend i didnt read that thing about the crush... cause if its a guy in the gaming group... its either me, my roomie whos my best bud, or my best bud who isnt my roomie... so mum's the word with me.
Harrison

[ash130.livejournal.com]

Hey is that a cat that just ran out of that bag??

[ash130.livejournal.com]

We are led to believe that it is sacred or something to be held onto for "the right one" I think it's a cultural meme and much like cultural memes they are meant to control and regulate the masses. In some countries 14 is considered the marrying age. I would also guess that controlling one's first sexual experience is one way to ensure that the family gains power and influence instead of losing it. Never hear of many princesses marrying farm boys. When you ask is it sacred we now enter into the realm of religion and we know how open minded and tolerant main stream religions are right? Whitefanghusky has a very good point, it's all relative: How sacred is it to you.